Love and Relationships

Relationships are challenging for many reasons, one of the most profound of which is we commonly expect from our mate things which only we can provide for ourselves. Too often we look for love, fulfillment and joy to come from outside of us, and are angry and frustrated when our expectations are not met.

Relationships are like the rest of outer life in that they give us an honest reflection of where we're at. If our relationships are angry, it's because we're angry. If they're honest and open, it's because we're honest and open. If they're muddled, it's because we're muddled.

As difficult as it is for many of us to accept, feeling loved and cared for is something that comes from the inside and is later reflected back to us in our relationships. In our society the concept of loving and caring for our self as a primary cause of a happy life is not very well developed. Recently, I've been focusing on how I can better and more effectively care for and support myself.

To love and support our self includes being more honest with our self; more accepting of what we think, say and do. It also includes taking responsibility for what our life is; what we're doing with it. And, it includes honestly accepting feedback. Every one of us has room for improvement in each of these areas.

Adopting this point of view changes our focus and understanding of what relationships are and what their purpose is. They become assistance in learning and accepting who we are, and allowing that to gain expression. We see the fact that relationships are challenging as a blessing. They require us to be more open and honest to sustain and grow the relationship.

For sure we love and are loved by other people, and for sure that love is an expression and consequence of the love we have for ourselves. Taking responsibility for understanding, accepting and acting on this truth takes a big step forward.

Scott Friedman

Mortgage Broker

(Including Reverse Mortgages)

805 383 2545