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Mommy's Corner: Routine or Ritual
Contributed by: Katrina Causey on 6/13/2007

Anyone who has read parenting magazines within the last ten years has heard about or tried the "bedtime ritual."

Let me tell you, from my experience, it works. Children, like adults like to know what it is coming. They need structure so that they know how they are supposed to react. As parents we aren't really any different. When we have something new thrown at us, our first reaction is that we are not sure of what to do or exactly how we feel about it. It seems to be human nature, like "fear of the unknown" and all of that.

In the area of parenting, routine can be a valuable asset. When our children hear a certain phrase that they have heard every week, on the same day of the week, at the same time of day they know how to (and sometimes without knowing) respond.

For example, when my children were very young, the trigger sentence for bedtime was, "Please, go brush your teeth." Every one of the children knew that the next step was to put on their "jammies" and then get into bed. As they would get into bed, my husband would say our family prayer and I would tell the children what events were taking place the following day. So, conditioned to this routine, our children disagreed only when we had forgotten to mention the upcoming events properly, which happened occasionally (Hey, I'm not perfect).

As the children got older, I found that small adjustments to the schedule had to be made, but the basic structure of the routine is the same. The household chores happen at the same time. Homework happens at the same time. Even snacks and special treats have a time and a place. I have even found, that if there is a necessary change, if I prepare the children ahead of time (you know, warning them that there is no escape) there is little arguing and the older children will even help (when threatened).

There will always be "hiccups" in routines, schedules, rituals, customs, and so on, but I have found that when I have my ducks in a row, my aim is much more accurate.



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CONTRIBUTOR INFORMATION

Katrina Causey

Camarillo , CA

Katrina Causey has posted 27 stories and 1 comment since joining on 11/30/2006. Katrina Causey 's average story rating is 4.27.
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