• Holiday Blues

  Don't let the crush of the season get you down

  Originally published in Mayo Clinic Health Letter, December 1996

  The holidays! They're supposed to be a time of warmth, happiness and excitement. And for many people, they are.

  But for some, the season can be a paradox. Joyous feelings and family and religious traditions can be overshadowed by stress, fatigue and gloom--"the blues."

  It's quite normal to experience a little unhappiness or frustration during the holidays. After all, it's an emotional and busy time of year. The key is knowing how to respond to your feelings and having realistic expectations.

  Strains of the season

  In addition to all of the gifts, goodies, decorations and events, the holiday season can be filled with many pressures. However, contrary to popular belief, research has failed to demonstrate that suicide increases during the holidays.

  A recent 35-year study in Olmsted County, Minn., (where Mayo Clinic Rochester is located) found no increase in the number of suicides before, during or after Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year's or the Fourth of July.

  The holiday blues, as the name implies, tend to be temporary and seasonal, as opposed to depression, which is longer lasting and may require treatment. Still, the holidays can be difficult for many people. Problems or emotions repressed during other months often tend to surface during the holidays.

  Factors that commonly contribute to the holiday blues tend to fall into three major categories:

  • Psychological--You may be facing your first holiday season without your spouse or a loved one. This can cause great feelings of loneliness and sadness. In addition, if you're already feeling depressed or isolated, seeing others having a good time may make the situation worse.

    Family misunderstandings and conflict can also develop at this time of year. You may want your entire family to gather at your house, as they perhaps traditionally have. But they may have different plans or want you to come to their house.

    Or, there may be strained relationships between family members that commonly cause feelings of uneasiness when everyone gets together.

    You may also expect too much from the holidays--that picture-perfect celebration, expensive gifts or hearing from long-lost friends--and then become disappointed when those expectations fall short.

  • Financial--The holidays bring with them an added financial burden. You may not have as much money to buy gifts or holiday clothing this year. Or you may find you're spending more than you can afford.
  • Physical--The strain of shopping, attending social gatherings and baking holiday goodies can make you tense or fatigued. Too much food and drink during the holidays can also cause weight gain, which can be especially frustrating if you're trying to lose weight.
  Keeping the blues at bay

  To help prevent the season's stresses from ruining your holidays, follow these important strategies:

  • Acknowledge your feelings--If you've recently had a loss in the family or are separated from loved ones, realize that it's normal to feel sadness and grief. It's okay now and then to take time just to cry or express your feelings. By repressing them, they'll only last longer.
  • Seek support--Take advantage of social support. If you're feeling isolated or down, seek out community, religious or social services that can provide you with support and companionship.

    You might also think about volunteering at a community or religious function. Getting involved and helping others can be a great way to lift your spirits and make new acquaintances.

  • Be realistic--As families change and grow, traditions may need to change as well.

  Hold on to those family rituals you still can--a special food or holiday activity--but understand that some traditions, such as everyone gathering at your house, may no longer be possible.

  In addition, try not to set your expectations too high. Those perfect holiday gatherings portrayed in pictures and the media generally aren't representative of most families.

• Set differences aside--Try to accept family members as they are. Leave old grievances or discussions about differences until a more appropriate time.
• Budget-- Before you go shopping, decide how much money you can afford to spend on gifts and other items, and then stick to your budget. You might also consider giving gifts that can't be bought--your time, sharing of memories, or an item you made yourself.

  Try to make the holiday season more of a family occasion and less materialistic.

• Plan ahead--Develop a calendar of specific days for shopping, baking, visiting friends and other events. Don't plan more than you can comfortably accomplish, and schedule time for some solitude and relaxation.

  If you're feeling stressed or overburdened, discuss sharing responsibilities with other family members or friends. You might also consider buying some food items instead of making them all yourself.

• Don't abandon healthful habits--Don't feel pressured to eat or drink more than you're accustomed to just because it's the holiday season.

  Before attending social events, decide how much and what types of foods and beverages you should consume.

  Get plenty of sleep and, if you're healthy, schedule time for exercise. Not only will exercise help fend off extra pounds, it will make you feel more refreshed and less fatigued.

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