Whenever I came to visit, Alexander made a dramatic dive under the coffee table. Only half of his nine-year-old body fit, his head stuffed in like a buried ostrich head and his long legs sticking out into the living room. His mom said, "He always does this. He's shy."

"He's a ham," I told her. "Get this kid into an acting class."

After four years of South Coast Repertory's Theatre Conservatory, Alexander performed his Bar Mitzvah like Sean Penn: letter perfect, poised, confident. His mother sent me flowers.

Benjamin Franklin said, "Hide not your talents. They for use were made. What's a sundial in the shade?" And that gets me thinking. Isn't that exactly what an arts conservatory is all about? Conservatories encourage young people to find their light, to hit their note and to color their canvas.

Natasha is all knees and elbows. At thirteen, negotiating the cafeteria is a major achievement. She bumps into things while pushing her glasses up on her nose and trying not to show anyone her braces. Then Natasha sits down at a piano bench and turns into a swan.

I researched the word "conservatory" and found its origins in the 1600's in France. Definition: a place where foundlings were taught music. Those French...how cool is that? Things haven't changed much.

At today's arts conservatories our students aren't exactly foundlings, but hey, many of them are seemingly awkward kids looking for a place to belong. So this becomes one of our central goals. Of course, like the French we want to teach music... and theatre and dance and art. And like a greenhouse conservatory, we want to create a place for artistic and emotional growth in plenty of sunlight. But necessary to our foundation, for the sake of Alexander and Natasha we have to create a home where they can meet kids like themselves.

Many of us who operate conservatories know from personal experience that our children need a second home. The best programs provide a free forum where students can engage in discussing and debating their ideas. We adults should just get out of the way and let the kids express themselves, listen to each other and connect. How else do we learn we are not alone?

The best programs also save plenty of time for the student to pursue their passion. We should tailor course work that gives them exactly what the young artist needs, both here and in life. Classes should change every few weeks, and each student should enjoy the experience of retreats, master classes, workshops and solo performance opportunities.

Boy, I hope we are creating a safe place where every student can step out of their comfort zone; a place where sundials make sense. I hope that there is the safety in numbers which comes from finding others like you who bump into things, who are shy but secret hams, and who puke on pianos...

Now, this is a true story. I threw up on the piano on my first day of a new school. No one talked to me for the rest of the year, and I can't help but wonder how different my life would be if I hadn't eaten that chocolate cereal for breakfast. Since everyone ignored me, I found a better way to call attention to myself. I found theatre. Eventually everyone forgot that I was the girl who puked on the piano, and remembered me as the girl in the plays. I was a foundling, a sundial in the sun.

Arts Conservatories find many ways to urge the sundials out of the shade. Throughout the year, music and theatre students can perform for seniors, families and schoolchildren. Many conservatories provide a showcase that features student musicians who have earned the honor of appearing as soloists with a fully-professional orchestra. Keep an eye out for Natasha!

For the sake of Alexander, and Natasha and six-year-old me, we have to create a place where we make sense. It is our job as parents and educators to bring the sundials out of the shade.

Stephanie Angelini has been working with young actors for over twenty-five years and has led a busy career in film and television production. She is Artistic Director of Gold Coast Theatre Conservatory and Director of Education for the Santa Barbara Center for the Performing Arts. She is still in the process of raising her own three dramatic children who range in age from 12 to 26. For the past two years she chaired the California Alliance for Arts Education. She currently chairs both the Thousand Oaks Arts Commission and the Social Justice Fund for Ventura County, but hasn't puked on a piano in 44 years.