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Blog Entry 5 of 9 Annie's Mailbox - THE REAL ANSWERS

Don't you hate it when "experts" give people bad advice? When they cop out and say "Talk to a therapist"? Well, here is the straight-up, politically INcorrect advice that will save these poor people a trip to the therapist's office.

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Is this letter a joke?

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Contributed by: Dame von Fiess on 4/9/2007

Annie's Mailbox, April 10
Is this letter a joke?

Dear Annie: A few days ago, I received an anonymous letter from a woman who stated she was having an affair with my husband. She wanted me to know, because she felt if I knew he didn't love me anymore, I would leave him. She further stated not to ask him or his co-workers about the affair, as they would all deny everything.

I have been with my husband over 15 years, and he has never done anything to make me question his faithfulness. He claims he's never had any interest in anyone else and has never cheated on me. When he is not at work, I can account for his every minute. But my husband is not tied to a desk at his job, nor consistently supervised, and this woman says she sees him during the day.

My husband says someone is just being mean and spiteful, and as much as I want to believe that, there is a part of me that keeps wondering if I'm living a lie. - Dazed & Confused

ANNIE'S ANSWER

Dear Dazed: An anonymous letter? Don't verify it with co-workers? This sounds like a classic crank letter to us. There are some very sick individuals who think it's funny to send anonymous letters or make late-night phone calls to women and claim the husband is having an affair. If your husband has never given you a reason to suspect him, we urge you to throw this letter in the trash and forget you ever saw it - before it causes the exact damage you want to avoid.

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THE ANSWER SHOULD HAVE BEEN:

Dear Dazed and Confused: Don't be naive. Just because your husband has never given you a reason to suspect him before does not mean there is no reason to suspect him NOW. Why would someone at your husband's office want to be mean and spiteful? Dig until you get answers that make sense.

Throwing this letter away without following up would be foolish and even life-threatening. What if it's the truth? It may be a crank letter, but it may not be. Either way, there is follow-up work to be done.

Many women who have knowledge about others' husbands' affairs have mixed feelings about whether or not to "spill the beans". Too often, the wife wants to kill the messenger instead of holding her husband accountable.

Be smart. Follow up FULLY with your own questioning, or hire a detective. Trust your instinct with the answers you receive. There is no harm in pursuing the truth, whatever it may be. The bottom line is, your life may be at stake. And that's NO JOKE.

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