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Hi everyone, I'm glad you found your way to the blog section. I've been asked, "What's a blog?" more than a few times since starting to talk to people about YourHub.com. Blog is simply short for Web log and you can think of it as an online journal where you can wax philosphic on subjects large or small, international or personal. Just remember if you choose to add the blog to the YourHub listings, anyone can read what you write. My blog, most likely, will just be about random thoughts and observations and hopefully will spur conversation either on local topics or local effects of wider-reaching topics. Please feel free to leave comments with your own views -- or better yet, start your own blog and write about it!

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Happy Pancake Day

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Contributed by: YourHub.com on 2/16/2007

Happy Pancake Day. Or Fat Tuesday. Or Shrove Tuesday. Or Mardi Gras. Or
last day of Carnival. Depending on where you're from or what you believe,
the name may change but in any case, Tuesday will be a day for fun and I'm
all for that.
But come Wednesday, it's time for many to become more serious. Ash
Wednesday marks the beginning of liturgical season of Lent.
I'm not of a religion that observes Lent, but have wondered what it
is I'd give up if I did. My first thoughts are of my actual vices or offensive
behaviors, cursing for example. While my mother, who still worries
about my foul mouth, might appreciate it, it just seems kind of wrong to give up
something as a sacrifice that's so offensive to so many. I mean,
shouldn't I just give that up anyway for courtesy's sake?
Often people give up food of some sort, so I guess I could give up the
sugar-free gummy bears I snack on when I really am jonesing for
something sweet (or worrying about what my next column will be about). Or maybe I should give up grapes or cherries, my other slightly guilty pleasures.
Of course, cherries are somewhat hard to come by this time of year so they
wouldn't be too hard to let go of. But they are all things I enjoy
and would feel the absence of.
I guess this feeling that for Lent, one should let go of something he
or she desires is what made the action of some county churches take me off
guard.
Churches from Ojai to Thousand Oaks are joining others around the world
in a complaint-free 21 days. It's a program that started at Christ Church
Unity in Kansas City, Mo.
The Rev. Will Bowen challenged his congregation to go 21 days, the
amount of time scientists believe it takes to form a new habit, without
complaining.
To help keep them on track, the church leader --who, according to
news reports, is known for handing out tchotchkes during services-- gave
out purple rubber wristbands (a la Lance Armstong's Live Strong
bracelets) to the congregants. They were to go 21 days without complaining but if
they goofed and let out a complaint, they'd have to switch wrists and
start the 21 days over again. As of Friday, the church had requests from and sent
out 126,436 bracelets to churches, civic groups, businesses, sports teams,
scout troops, prisons and families and individuals.
It took Bowen three months to complete his 21 complaint-free days.
Reverend Cathy Norman of Unity Church of Ventura is determined to beat him.
She's off to a slow start so far, having tried for a week and reports she's had
to switch wrists just about every day. Still, she thinks she can beat the
three-month period "and I'll let him know when I do," she said of
the pastor she's met at various Unity Church functions.
The Ventura Church was scheduled to start its 21 days Sunday, in time
for the season of Lent. Unity Center Church of Thousand Oaks also was to
start on Sunday.
"While thinking about the program, what's struck me is how often we
give a compliment to someone and we turn it into a complaint," said Rev.
Molly Rockey of the Thousand Oaks church.
She gave the example of complimenting a friend on her recent weight
loss, whereupon the friend answered that the loss was going slow and wasn't
enough.
"I think we don't give ourselves credit sometimes for the great
work we're doing instead of focusing on how great we are and how hard we're
working," said Rockey.
It's a victim mentality, said Norman, that brings us down.
"I've noticed whenever I have complained about something, it's
made me the victim and I am giving my power over to another person or thing or
circumstance. So when I don"t complain, I've got the power," she
said.
But it's hard to give up because "most of society is addicted to
complaining and they just don't know it," she said.
One of the Kansas City congregants likened complaints between
acquaintances to a tennis match.
"Have you ever noticed that complaining is kind of like a tennis
game? First someone complains, then looks to you for endorsement (that is serving
the ball to you); then because you know what they are wanting, you affirm
that person's complaint (so you have returned the ball back to them),"
writes a church member identified only as Kim on the church's Web site (www.
ccunitykc.org or acomplaintfreeworld.org).
"Now you are trapped in the 'complaint game' (or the tennis game)
and it is hard not to feed the complainer," she writes. "In fact, when the
person who makes the complaint stops and looks to you for endorsement, if you
don't respond back in like manner, they verbalize another complaint (their
second serve) as they assume you didn't understand the first one."
But "You don't have to participate, you can approach it in a
different way," says Norman of Ventura's Unity Church. "There's a way to express
your language that's uplifting ...Complaining is a way of pulling energy
from someone, it's bringing them down instead of pumping them up"
"Basically what we're trying to do is create a county that's more
intentional with their lives and the way they communicate," said
Norman.
"Ultimately if we had less complaining, we'd have peace on earth a
little quicker."

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